Fatal Read online

  Nervously, Bree chewed on her lip. She was still in shock. She hadn’t, in a million years, thought that Franny would turn up – not from the way Alfie had been talking anyway – and her heart had gone out to her. It was clear from the look on Franny’s face that she still felt something for Alfie, but the question was, what was it that Alfie felt for Franny? In truth, she was scared to hear the answer.

  ‘So what are you trying to say, Alfie?’

  Alfie stood by the green Chesterfield couch, hating to hear the hurt in Bree’s voice, and it didn’t help that he couldn’t think of the right words to make her feel better. He tried to ignore how beautiful she looked, playing down what had happened between them in the past couple of months by telling himself and wanting to believe what he and Bree had was like a holiday romance. Because when he saw Franny, even though he was angry, though he hated her and wanted her to feel the same kind of pain he had felt, even after all that, he still loved her, fully and completely. But then standing here with Bree, it felt like he loved her too. Shit.

  Walking up to her, Alfie pushed Bree’s long blonde hair out of her face. ‘Bree, look, I never knew she was going to turn up. I would’ve never strung you along if I’d thought that me and her … well, not that I strung you along … You mean a lot to me, you always have done. But seeing Franny …’ Alfie trailed off, but then added quickly, ‘But what me and you had was real though.’

  Bree felt the pain tighten in her chest. ‘Had?’

  Irritated that this wasn’t going as smoothly as he’d like – in fact, it wasn’t going well at all – Alfie snapped, ‘No, I don’t mean had, I mean what we have. It’s real, of course it is, but if you don’t mind, I’d like to maybe, well, maybe we could play it down for Franny’s sake and have a chance to work out what’s going on.’

  ‘You mean you want me to lie to her?’

  Never having been any good at feeling guilty or dealing with women’s emotions, Alfie resorted to being hard and uncaring. ‘I never said lie, did I? I mean, after all, nothing with us was official, was it? It was just a casual arrangement between two consenting adults.’

  Alfie turned away, not only knowing he was being unfair, but also knowing this way seemed easier; making a woman hate him was simple, over the years he’d become an expert at it. Get a woman to hate you and it saved all the pain and hurt, but, more to the point, it saved him from dealing with emotions he was scared of.

  He knew it was a joke really, because he’d be prepared to face the hardest of men, go up against any kind of problem, no matter what. Nothing really frightened him, nothing except love that is, because love had a way of ripping his very heart out. That kind of pain he didn’t want to deal with, he never wanted to go through that again.

  When he was just a boy he had found his mother – whom he had adored and who had loved him utterly – covered in blood with a pair of garden shears sticking into her neck after she’d taken her own life. The pain of one minute having her love in his life and the next minute having it snatched away from him had been an unbearable agony. So, love was fine whilst it was fine, but the minute it started to go wrong it was easier for him to get out and not look back rather than deal with the pain of what might come.

  ‘Alfie, why are you doing this?’ Bree asked quietly, reaching out to touch his shoulder softly. ‘Look at me?’

  ‘Bree, please, don’t make this harder than it has to be, darlin’.’

  Angry now, Bree snatched her hand away and snapped at Alfie. ‘Harder for who, Alf? It was only last week you were saying to me that you and Franny were over. You gave me all the chat about how she’d hurt you, that you didn’t have any feelings for her. And you know what, more fool me because I believed you. What a fool I was to think we could have a happy ever after.’

  With guilt making him rage, Alfie replied harshly, ‘Jesus Christ, Bree, I never promised you anything. You’re making it out like I’ve been down on one knee begging you to be my missus.’

  Bree’s green eyes flashed with anger, though it was hurt she was feeling. Hurt and humiliation. ‘You can be a real idiot, Alf. I’d forgotten that side of you. You might not have promised me anything—’

  Alfie cut in. ‘Well, there you go then, what’s the problem?’

  Fighting back tears, Bree shook her head. She hadn’t known what to expect when they’d got together, but she certainly hadn’t expected this. ‘The problem is, Alfie, it wasn’t just about making a promise. It’s about all the other things you said, the things you did. I really thought you cared.’

  ‘I do, but—’

  Trying to be strong, Bree pushed further. ‘No, Alf, what you’re doing is trying to dig yourself out of a hole.’

  Alfie rubbed his head, unable to look at Bree directly. ‘I just don’t want any grief with Franny.’

  Staring at Alfie in bemusement, Bree, feeling like she’d been sucker-punched, sat down on the couch. ‘How can you get me so wrong? Don’t you get it, Alfie? For me, it’s not about Franny, it never has been. I genuinely thought it was over, so I haven’t got an argument with her, she hasn’t done anything.’

  Alfie scowled. ‘Really? You think taking two million quid from someone isn’t doing anything wrong?’

  ‘For God’s sake, Alfie, we ain’t talking about money, we’re talking about loving someone. She’s out there hurting, probably not understanding, any more than I do, quite how it came to this. Face it, Alfie, you’re the one who hasn’t been straight here.’

  Fuming and red-faced, Alfie raised his voice. ‘Bree, will you just fucking listen. How many times do I have to tell you, I didn’t know she was coming back.’

  ‘Maybe not, but you did know you had feelings for her.’

  The two of them stared at each other in the echoing silence, both deep in their own thoughts.

  Eventually, Alfie said, ‘Anyway, what was it you wanted to say to me? When you came into the room, you said you had to tell me something.’

  Bree just shrugged. How could she tell him now? How could she tell him she was pregnant? It was all a mess. Especially as she didn’t know if the baby was Alfie’s or her ex-husband’s; though she had a feeling, or perhaps it was just a hope, it was Alfie’s.

  Nevertheless, she had hoped they might talk about it, because after the past few years and everything she had gone through she didn’t trust herself to make the right decisions, the right choices. Secretly, she wasn’t sure if she was good enough to be a mother again. She had messed up big time in the past and she was scared she might do that again, so she’d needed to speak to Alfie about it. But now Franny had come back, now she knew Franny meant something to him, there was no way she wanted to make it more difficult for anyone. Even though it felt like the happiness she’d finally found had been swept away all too soon, she owed him that. Owed him to keep her mouth shut. Because if she really did love him, no matter how much it hurt, she would let him go.

  ‘Nothing, well, nothing important anyway, only that I don’t really fancy going to London tomorrow. I hope you don’t mind.’

  Strained, Alfie lit a cigarette. ‘No, of course not, I was going to say the same thing myself. I don’t think it’s really the right time for us to go and live it large.’

  Bree sat stony-faced. ‘Absolutely.’

  ‘There’s one more thing … I don’t think it’s a good idea for us to share a room anymore. Is that okay? I’ll sleep in one of the spare bedrooms and I’ll get my things out of your room tomorrow, I don’t have to worry you tonight.’

  Wanting to burst into tears but instead just giving a small, tight smile, Bree, almost unable to get the words out, nodded. ‘Fine, whatever you say. I understand.’

  Alfie nodded. Guilt and shame were running through him, knowing that Bree was hurting, but he chose instead to follow her words. He winked at her. ‘I knew it, I knew you’d understand. That’s my girl.’

  And with that, Alfie Jennings walked away, leaving Bree with her heart breaking.

  22

  It wa
s just before 7am as Alfie Jennings sat having a cigarette in the large white kitchen watching Cabhan and Alice approaching the security gates on the CCTV. He clenched his jaw, not in the mood to speak to Cabhan, especially in front of Alice. What he had to say might not go down very well.

  He’d thought he’d been angry last night when Franny had told him the story, but the more he mulled it over, the more he’d wound himself up. Now, he wanted to do somebody some serious damage. It didn’t help that he had missed lying next to Bree last night or that his heart still beat for Franny. Shit.

  Having buzzed Alice and Cabhan in, Alfie walked along the hallway to open the imposing wooden front door.

  On seeing Alice, Alfie grinned, bringing her into a strong, warm embrace. ‘Hello, darlin’, it is so good to see you. It’s a shame it’s under these circumstances, though. Franny tells me what a brave girl you were, that you used your head, not many people would’ve been able to think straight if the Rus—’

  ‘Robbery. If a robbery happened. Because that’s what it was, just a robbery.’ Cabhan, having cut in, gave Alfie a warning stare.

  Not appreciating this knock-down, Alfie seethed inwardly. ‘Listen, Alice, I need to have a quick word with Cabhan. You’ve had a major journey, so why don’t you go upstairs and get settled. The second room on the right will be your bedroom.’

  Alice smiled. She’d always loved Alfie from the first time she’d met him. He’d always been so kind and gentle towards her, so she stayed in his embrace a little while longer, feeling the safety she’d been craving since what happened at school. ‘Thank you so much, Alfie. It’s lovely that you’re going to let Dad and me stay.’

  ‘Of course! I’m looking forward to getting to know you more. It’ll be a pleasure, and Lola can’t wait to see you later. I know it’s been tough on you these past few weeks, but we’ll get through this together, right? Now off you go and get yourself settled in.’

  Nodding, Alice skipped off and ran up the stairs towards her new room.

  ‘Hold up, Alice, we need to talk. Wait there for me,’ Cabhan shouted after his daughter.

  But as he turned to follow her, Alfie grabbed his arm, whispering furiously, ‘No, Cab, we need to talk, and now!’

  ‘We do, but it can wait, I’ve got to make sure my daughter’s okay.’

  ‘It’s a bit late to start worrying about that now, ain’t it? I just want to know what the fuck you’re playing at getting Franny and Alice involved in your shit. You needed to sort this out with the Russos on your own.’

  ‘It’s sorted.’

  Alfie scowled at Cabhan. ‘How? Because you’ve come here? Do me a favour. You and I both know it’s not over yet. These are the Russos we’re talking about.’

  Cabhan pulled away. ‘Look, Alf, I never wanted to involve anyone else in this, but I am handling it my way. So I’d appreciate it if you could keep your mouth shut about the Russos. Alice knows nothing and I want to keep it that way.’

  ‘And how long will that last? She’s going to find out soon enough, she’s not stupid. So, the sooner you tell her, the better.’

  ‘You’re right on one thing, she’s not stupid, but what Alice is is different. She’s … she’s innocent. She’s been sheltered. The girl even thinks I work in insurance.’

  Alfie stared at Cabhan with disdain. ‘You mean you can tell her anything and she’ll believe it.’

  ‘I didn’t say that.’

  ‘No, you didn’t have to, but let me tell you, you’re playing a dangerous game with that, Cab, and it’ll come back to bite you. I should know.’

  Ignoring Alfie’s warning, Cabhan turned and ran up the stairs two at a time to catch up with his daughter.

  ‘Hey, baby, sorry about that.’

  Smiling, she turned around, her corkscrew hair tumbling over her face as she waited on the wooden landing for her father.

  Just then, hearing Cabhan and Alice, Franny came out of her room, looking tired and pensive.

  Slightly out of breath, Cabhan smiled back, but he couldn’t hide the tension in his body and behind his eyes. The overwhelming pressure and guilt sitting on his shoulders like a dead weight.

  ‘I know it’s been a bit of a whirlwind these past few days, and I know we didn’t have a chance to talk last night, but, for the time being, this is where we’re going to stay. This will be your home until we decide exactly what we’re going to do, so we need to get you settled in. I want you to be happy, Alice, that’s the main thing.’

  Sadness poured out of Alice’s eyes. ‘I’m fine, Dad. I don’t want you to worry about me.’

  Sensing a stress headache coming on, Cabhan massaged his temples as he stared at his daughter. ‘I don’t think you are. You haven’t told Franny or me anything about what’s going on with you. Alice, you’ve had a terrible time and seen some awful stuff, but it’s no good bottling it up. I know what it’s like to have people close to you die violently and all the feelings that come with it, so one of the first things we need to do is get you some kind of help.’

  ‘Like I say, Dad, I’m fine. Really. I don’t need to see someone, I just wish …’ Alice trailed off.

  ‘You wish what?’

  ‘I just wish you’d talk to me. I don’t understand what’s happening. I don’t get why we came here like we did. Everything seems so difficult right now. And the convent, I—’

  Cabhan jumped in, his stress turning into anger. ‘It was a robbery, Alice, you know that, we’ve already told you.’

  ‘I know, but—’

  ‘But nothing. That’s all there is to it. What else do you want from me, Alice?’

  Not understanding why her dad was so cross, and not able to find the words she wanted to say, in turmoil and desperation, Alice quickly replied, ‘What I want, what might help me, what might help all of us, is if we pray. You, me and Franny. I’d really like that, Dad. I think that could help me, it could help you. Why don’t you just try it, Dad?’

  Cabhan stiffened. He glanced over to Franny before looking back at his daughter. ‘That isn’t going to help me. It’s never helped me and it’s not going to help me now.’

  Hoping to calm him down, Franny put her hand on Cabhan’s arm. ‘Cab, come on. Alice doesn’t mean any harm. This is tough for all of us. Calm down, okay?’

  Realising he was bringing to the present his own childhood memories of the abuse he’d suffered under the hands of priests, Cabhan nodded. He tried to smile reassuringly at Alice and softened his voice, his Irish lilt lulling. ‘Look, I’m glad you can find comfort in that stuff, and I know it’s how your mum brought you up, but whether you like it or not, I’m going to take you to see somebody. You’ve been traumatised. You need proper help.’

  Wide-eyed and bewildered, Alice felt distraught. ‘But it is proper help, Dad. It can make everything better, but we have to do it together.’

  Trying not to but failing, Cabhan shouted, ‘For goodness’ sake, Alice, where was your God when your mum died or when those kids and nuns got slaughtered? Where was he then? You’re in the real world now, not fantasy land or whatever commune you were brought up on, so, sweetheart, get used to it, and I want to hear no more talk of that crap!’

  As Alice turned to run, Franny grabbed her, bringing her into a tight embrace as Alice wept through her words, shaking. ‘Franny, please, tell Dad he’s wrong.’

  Giving Cabhan a hard, cold stare over Alice’s shoulder, Franny, furious with his attitude, said, ‘What harm can it do, Cab? This is what Alice does, it’s what she knows, all she knows. It’s who she is. Give her a break.’

  Enraged at what he saw as Franny going against him, Cabhan spoke through gritted teeth. ‘I’d appreciate it if you’d leave the decisions of what’s best for my daughter down to me.’

  Amazed by Cabhan’s behaviour and feeling wretched herself from the events of last night, Franny shook her head. ‘What has got into you, Cab? I was only saying.’

  ‘Well don’t,’ he snapped.

  Turning her attention to Alice in
stead, Franny drew the girl away from her and smiled warmly into her tear-filled eyes. ‘So, are you excited about being in England? I know it’s been a long time coming, but it’s a new beginning.’

  ‘Is it?’

  Franny nodded, hoping that she sounded sincere. ‘Yeah, of course. We can all start afresh.’

  Alice, feeling miserable, shrugged. ‘I don’t think we should’ve come.’

  ‘Why not, honey?’

  Alice looked past Franny to her dad. She was so worried about him and nothing made sense anymore. The only time it had in the past few weeks was when she’d spoken to Nico. He’d understood everything she’d said, and he hadn’t got angry with her or made her feel stupid when she’d talked about her beliefs. But the best part about her conversations with him was that he’d made her feel like everything was all going to be fine. He’d made her feel safe.

  ‘It just seems such a rush. I didn’t mind the motel; I would’ve been happy to stay a while longer.’

  Franny, puzzled, smiled again. ‘If you liked it back there, Alice, you’ll love Essex. There’s so much for you to do here. I can’t wait to show you around. I know it’s been tough, it’s been awful for you, but I’m sure eventually you’ll see this is the right thing to do.’

  Grateful for Franny’s care and not wanting to upset her, Alice nodded sadly, saying nothing. Overcome with emotion, Alice walked to her room, leaving Franny and Cabhan standing there in tense silence.

  As Alice closed the door behind her, relieved to be alone, she felt her phone buzz in her pocket. Walking across to the window seat that overlooked the garden, she answered.

  ‘Hello?’

  ‘Alice, it’s me. What happened, Alice?’

  Alice’s eyes darted to the closed bedroom door. ‘Hold on a moment.’ After tiptoeing across the room, she opened the door a crack, checking that Cabhan and Franny were no longer in the hallway, then quietly closed the bedroom door again and returned to the phone.